Friends. What is definition of
friends to you? For every person
it is different. Being a good friend
isn't always easy, but taking the
time to nurture a lasting
friendship is worth every ounce of effort. As the years pass, some
people will stay by your side, but
many won't, and you'll realize
that each friendship you keep is
priceless. Of course, to have a
good friend, you must be one.
friends to you? For every person
it is different. Being a good friend
isn't always easy, but taking the
time to nurture a lasting
friendship is worth every ounce of effort. As the years pass, some
people will stay by your side, but
many won't, and you'll realize
that each friendship you keep is
priceless. Of course, to have a
good friend, you must be one.
To be a good friend and deepen a
friendship to make it last. Follow
the described journey and will be
possible to make friends, not
temporary but forever.
friendship to make it last. Follow
the described journey and will be
possible to make friends, not
temporary but forever.
Keep your promises. Don't ever make a promise that
you
can't keep -- or at least don't
make a habit of it. If you say
you'll hang out with a friend
and a legitimate conflict arises,
explain the situation and trust that the friendship is strong
enough for the no's as well as
the yes's. If you just cannot go,
give your friend a gift and tell
him or her sorry. Nobody's
perfect, and it's okay if you skip out on a promise once in a
blue moon, but don't make it a
regular thing. If this is
recurring over time then you
will probably be seen as not
trustworthy as you can not be trusted to be committed to
someone such as your friend. When you make a serious
promise, look at your
friend in the eyes and
speak slowly to show that
you really mean it instead
of just saying it because you think that you should.
Do not break any such
promise, as that will hurt
your friend.It might even
break your friendship! Be dependable. Being dependable is one of the most
important aspects of being a
good friend. Your friend will
need you for support,
especially in hard times.
Nobody likes a fake, and nobody wants one for a close
friend. It's hard to rely on a
person who doesn't behave in
a consistent and trustworthy
way. We all know well-
intentioned but flaky people who say, "Okay, I will..." but
never follow through. If that's
you, know that you're eroding
your friends' trust; eventually
they'll stop believing what you
say. If you're not sure you can
do something, don't agree
to do it and flake out later.
Instead, be honest about
the fact that you're not
sure if you can make it. Your friends should always
feel like they can count on
you, even when the going
gets tough. If you're only
there for the fun times,
you'll be no more than a fair-weather friend. Apologize when you've made a mistake. If you want your friends to trust you, then
you can't act like you're
flawless. If you know you've
made a mistake, own up to it
instead of being in denial.
Though your friends won't be happy that you made a
mistake, they'll be very
pleased that you're mature
and grounded enough to
admit it instead of just
pretending that nothing is wrong, or worse -- blaming it
on someone else. When you say sorry, you
should mean it. Let your
friends hear the sincerity in
your voice instead of
thinking that you don't
really care how they feel. Be honest. If you want to be a good friend and to have
people trust you, then you
have to be honest about your
feelings, about your friends'
actions, and about how you
feel about your friendship. If you're honest about how you
feel, that will open up direct
lines of communication with
your friends and will make
them more likely to open up to
you. If your friend hurt you, don't be afraid to talk about it;
if something is upsetting you,
don't feel too shy to open up
to your friend about it. Being honest is different
from being so blunt that
you're hurting your
friends. If you think your
friend has a drinking
problem, for example, then you owe it to your friend
to start a conversation
about it. But if you think
your friend looks kind of
weird in her new dress, you
may want to keep your mouth shut. Be real. Connect with people whom you value on
a deep level if you want to
have sustainable, long-
term friendships. Invest in
people you can be yourself
around. If your behavior lacks sincerity, your
friendship won't last. Don't use people. If one of your friends suspects that
you're just using them, then
they'll drop you like a hot
potato. Good friendships don't
arise from hoping someone
else's popularity or networks will rub off on you. If you're
trying to be friends with a
person just to be accepted into
a certain clique, that's not
friendship – it's opportunism –
and eventually the shallow nature of your involvement
will reveal itself. And if you have a
reputation of using people,
then new people won't be
too excited to start a
friendship with you. A friendship is about give
and take. Sure, it may be
really convenient that one
of your friends gives you a
ride to school every day,
but make sure that you do something for that friend in
return. Be loyal. If your friend tells you something in confidence,
keep it and don't talk about it
with anyone else, just as you'd
expect your friend to do for
you. Don't discuss your friend
behind his or her back, and don't spread rumors about the
confidences they've imparted
to you. Never say anything
about your friend that you
would not be prepared to
repeat to their face. Be loyal to your true friends and be
prepared to defend them if
your new friends, or people
you barely know, start
gossiping about them. Part of being loyal is
understanding the
importance of a long-
lasting and stable
friendship. Don't throw all
that away just to spend all your time hanging out with
your new boyfriend or
girlfriend or a cool new
person you just met. If you have a reputation for
being a blabbermouth or a
gossip, then your friends
will quickly find out and
they'll be hesitant to reveal
anything personal to you in the future -- or even to
spend much time with you
at all. Don't let others say bad
things about your friend,
either. Until you've had a
chance to hear your
friend's side of the story,
treat comments that are not supportive as hearsay
and rumors. If someone
says something that shocks
you and doesn't seem like a
thing your friend would do
or say, then respond with something like, "I know
him/her, and that just
doesn't sound right. Let me
talk to him/her; find out
his/her perspective on this.
Until then, I would appreciate it if you didn't
spread that around." Be respectful. Good friends show respect for each other by
being openly and mutually
supportive. If your friend has
certain values and beliefs that
don't align with your own,
respect his or her choices and be open to hearing more
about them. If you want your
friend to trust you, then your
friend should feel comfortable
voicing opinions that you may
not agree with, or discussing a new perspective with you. If
your friend thinks that you'll
shoot down any interesting or
original idea that he or she
may have, then your
friendship won't be valued. Sometimes your friend will
say things that you find
boring, uncomfortable or
annoying, but if you have
respect for your friend,
you'll give your friend the space to speak, and to do
so without judgment. During times when you
don't see eye to eye with
your friend, disagree
respectfully and be willing
to see things differently. Advertisement Part Two of Three: Being Supportive Be selfless. Though you can't be selfless all the time,
being selfless is an important part of being a good friend.
Accommodate your friend's
wishes whenever you can,
provided this is done in a
balanced way. Reciprocate his
or her acts of kindness with caring deeds of your own, and
your friendship will be
strengthened. If you get a
reputation for being selfish
and only being around your
friends when you need some help, then people will know
you're not looking out for
them. Do a favor for your friend
just out of the goodness of
your heart, not because
you want something in
return. There's a difference
between being selfless at
the right time and letting
people walk all over you. If
you feel like you're always
helping your friends and get nothing back, then you
may have a problem. Don't abuse generosity or
wear out your welcome.
When your friend does
something nice for you,
reciprocate quickly. Pay
back money you borrow promptly. Go home when it
seems like the time is right. Be a good listener. Don't monopolize conversations and
take the time to truly
understand and support your
friend when he is talking to
you. It sounds simple, but
make sure you're listening as much as you're talking about
yourself. If you're
monopolizing every
conversation with your
feelings, your friend isn't
getting anything out of the relationship. Listening opens
space between the two of you
and reassures your friend that
you care. If you're just waiting for
your friend to finish talking
so you can say what you
want to say, it'll be obvious
right away. Try to strike a balance of
letting your friend talk
about half of the time.
Though some people are
more shy than others, if
your friend feels like he can't get a word in when
he's around you, it'll be
hard to have a thriving
friendship. Help your friends deal with their struggles. To be truly supportive, you'll have to
be able to watch out for your
friends when they're having a
tough time. If you sense that
your friend is getting into
some sort of trouble over which they have little control,
such as taking drugs, being
promiscuous, or getting too
drunk at a party, help him or
her get away from the
situation by not being afraid to speak up about it. Don't assume that your
friend can handle it alone;
this may be the very time
that your voice of common
sense is needed to wake
them from their fugue. If you see a problem, speak
up, no matter how
awkward you may feel. Let your friend know that
you can give him a
shoulder to cry on during
this tough time. If your
friend feels less alone, it'll
be easier for them to deal with their troubles. If all your friend wants to
do about the problem is to
talk, that's fine at first, but
you should help your
friend find practical
solutions to his problems. For example, if your friend
admitted to having an
eating disorder and simply
promises to start eating
more, you need to talk
about taking more serious measures to address the
problem, like talking to a
health professional. Be there in a time of crisis. If your friend has to go to the hospital, visit. If his dog
runs away, help to find it. If
she needs someone to pick
him/her up, be there. Take
notes for your friend in school
when he or she is absent. Send cards and care packages when
you're living far apart. If there
is a death in his/her family,
attend the funeral. Let your
friend see that he can count on
you any time. Just make sure that your
friend isn't always in the
middle of some kind of
crisis, however contrived it
may be. You should be
there to help out during the hard times, but that
can't be the basis of your
whole relationship. Part of being there for your
friend in a crisis is
providing emotional
support, too. Care about
your friend enough to help
him or her open up and let the tears roll. Hand him or
her a tissue and listen
openly. You don't have to
say anything if nothing
seems right; just stay calm
and reassuring. If your friend is going
through a crisis, don't say,
"Everything is going to be
all right" if it's not going to
be. It's hard not to say that
sometimes, but false reassurance can often be
worse than none. Instead,
let your friend know you
are there for him or her.
Stay honest, but upbeat
and positive. If your friend begins
talking about committing suicide, tell someone about it. This rule overrides the
"respect privacy" step,
because even if your friend
begs you not to tell
anyone, you should do it
anyway. Suggest a help line or professional to your
friend. Talk to your and
your friend's parents or
spouse (unless they are the
ones causing the problems)
before involving anyone else. Give thoughtful advice. To be a good friend, you
should be able to weigh your
friend's situation from his or
her perspective and to provide
your opinion without insisting
that your friend should do whatever you say. Don't judge
your friend; simply advise him
or her when he or she reaches
out. Avoid giving unsought for
advice. Allow venting
where needed and be
willing to offer advice if it's
clear that it's sought.
Always ask before assuming you can give
advice. In some cases, a friend
could use a little tough love
to keep him or her out of a
dangerous situation. Use
discretion here; you don't
want to lecture or overwhelm your friend.
Tell him or her how you
perceive the situation using
factual information, and
suggest what you might do
in the same circumstances. Give your friend some space when he/she needs it. Part of being supportive
means supporting the fact that
your friend won't always want
to spend time with you. Learn
to step back and give your
friend space. Understand if your friend wants to be alone
or to hang out with other
people. There's no need to
become clingy or needy. If
you're clingy and check in with
your friend every two seconds if he or she isn't around, you'll
start to look like a possessive
significant other, and that will
not be appreciated. Don't get jealous if your
friend has lots of other
friends. Every relationship
is special and different, and
that doesn't mean that
your friend doesn't appreciate you. Allowing one another the
time to hang with other
friends gives you much-
needed breathing room,
and allows you to come
together fresh and appreciating each other
even more. Advertisement Part Three of Three: Making Your Friendship Last Learn to forgive. If you want your friendship to last,
then you should be able to
forgive your friend and to
move forward. If you hold a
grudge and let your bitterness
and resentment build up, then you won't be able to move
forward. Recognize that
nobody's perfect and that if
your friend is sincerely sorry
and if he or she didn't do
something too horrible, that you should move past it. If your friend really did do
something so unforgivable
that you just can't get past
it, then it's better to move
on than to try to save the
friendship when it's doomed. But this should
happen very rarely. If you're angry at your
friend but haven't told him
or her why, you'll never be
able to forgive him if you
don't talk about it. Accept your friend for who he or she is. To make your friendship thrive, you
shouldn't try to change your
friend or make your friend see
the world from your
perspective. If you're
conservative and your friend is liberal, then accept that
instead of trying to argue
about it all the time. You
should appreciate the fresh
perspective your friend can
bring to your experiences instead of wanting your friend
to see everything from your
perspective. The more you are with one
another, the less you
idealize each other and the
more you accept one
another for who you really
are. This is what being a truly good friend is really
about -- caring deeply for
each other, even if you
know you're both full of
flaws. Go beyond the call of duty. A friend will wait while you do your homework. A
great friend stays up all night
helping. Remember that if you
are a good friend, people want
to be a good friend to you.
Recognize the moments when you need to go above and
beyond to help your friend
and know that this will make
your friendship grow, and that
your friend will do the same
for you in return. If your friend really needs
you and keeps saying, "No,
you don't have to do
that..." learn to read
between the lines and
know that your friend really does need you. Stay in touch no matter what. As the years pass, people tend to grow apart.
Maybe you and a friend will
move to different places and
only see each other every once
in a while. Sometimes years
may elapse without much contact. If you never stop
caring about your friend,
speak up. He or she will be
happy to hear from you. You
were friends for a reason in
the past, and you may find the same bond still ties you
together. Don't let your location
determine the strength of
your bond. If your
friendship is meaningful,
then it should keep
growing even if you're an ocean apart. Make a goal of having
monthly phone or Skype
dates with your friend even
if you're in a completely
different time zone. If
keeping up with your friend becomes a routine,
your relationship will
continue to thrive. Let your friendship evolve. If you want to be a good friend, then you have to
understand that your
friendship won't be the same
in high school, college, or in
the adult world. Sure, when
you were fourteen, you might have spent all of your time
with your best friend, but by
the time you went off to
separate colleges or started
your serious relationships, you
naturally spent less time talking. This doesn't mean that
your friendship isn't as strong;
it just means that your lives
are evolving, and your
friendship is taking on a
different shape over the years. Don't try to make your
friendship be exactly the
same as it was ten years
ago. Think of it as elastic,
not solid. If your friend is married
with two kids or even just
in a serious relationship
and you're not, be
respectful of the fact that,
while your friend really cares for you, he/she won't
be on call 24/7 like he/she
used to be. Appreciate the changes
your friendship has made
over the years, and learn
to grow along with your
relationship.
can't keep -- or at least don't
make a habit of it. If you say
you'll hang out with a friend
and a legitimate conflict arises,
explain the situation and trust that the friendship is strong
enough for the no's as well as
the yes's. If you just cannot go,
give your friend a gift and tell
him or her sorry. Nobody's
perfect, and it's okay if you skip out on a promise once in a
blue moon, but don't make it a
regular thing. If this is
recurring over time then you
will probably be seen as not
trustworthy as you can not be trusted to be committed to
someone such as your friend. When you make a serious
promise, look at your
friend in the eyes and
speak slowly to show that
you really mean it instead
of just saying it because you think that you should.
Do not break any such
promise, as that will hurt
your friend.It might even
break your friendship! Be dependable. Being dependable is one of the most
important aspects of being a
good friend. Your friend will
need you for support,
especially in hard times.
Nobody likes a fake, and nobody wants one for a close
friend. It's hard to rely on a
person who doesn't behave in
a consistent and trustworthy
way. We all know well-
intentioned but flaky people who say, "Okay, I will..." but
never follow through. If that's
you, know that you're eroding
your friends' trust; eventually
they'll stop believing what you
say. If you're not sure you can
do something, don't agree
to do it and flake out later.
Instead, be honest about
the fact that you're not
sure if you can make it. Your friends should always
feel like they can count on
you, even when the going
gets tough. If you're only
there for the fun times,
you'll be no more than a fair-weather friend. Apologize when you've made a mistake. If you want your friends to trust you, then
you can't act like you're
flawless. If you know you've
made a mistake, own up to it
instead of being in denial.
Though your friends won't be happy that you made a
mistake, they'll be very
pleased that you're mature
and grounded enough to
admit it instead of just
pretending that nothing is wrong, or worse -- blaming it
on someone else. When you say sorry, you
should mean it. Let your
friends hear the sincerity in
your voice instead of
thinking that you don't
really care how they feel. Be honest. If you want to be a good friend and to have
people trust you, then you
have to be honest about your
feelings, about your friends'
actions, and about how you
feel about your friendship. If you're honest about how you
feel, that will open up direct
lines of communication with
your friends and will make
them more likely to open up to
you. If your friend hurt you, don't be afraid to talk about it;
if something is upsetting you,
don't feel too shy to open up
to your friend about it. Being honest is different
from being so blunt that
you're hurting your
friends. If you think your
friend has a drinking
problem, for example, then you owe it to your friend
to start a conversation
about it. But if you think
your friend looks kind of
weird in her new dress, you
may want to keep your mouth shut. Be real. Connect with people whom you value on
a deep level if you want to
have sustainable, long-
term friendships. Invest in
people you can be yourself
around. If your behavior lacks sincerity, your
friendship won't last. Don't use people. If one of your friends suspects that
you're just using them, then
they'll drop you like a hot
potato. Good friendships don't
arise from hoping someone
else's popularity or networks will rub off on you. If you're
trying to be friends with a
person just to be accepted into
a certain clique, that's not
friendship – it's opportunism –
and eventually the shallow nature of your involvement
will reveal itself. And if you have a
reputation of using people,
then new people won't be
too excited to start a
friendship with you. A friendship is about give
and take. Sure, it may be
really convenient that one
of your friends gives you a
ride to school every day,
but make sure that you do something for that friend in
return. Be loyal. If your friend tells you something in confidence,
keep it and don't talk about it
with anyone else, just as you'd
expect your friend to do for
you. Don't discuss your friend
behind his or her back, and don't spread rumors about the
confidences they've imparted
to you. Never say anything
about your friend that you
would not be prepared to
repeat to their face. Be loyal to your true friends and be
prepared to defend them if
your new friends, or people
you barely know, start
gossiping about them. Part of being loyal is
understanding the
importance of a long-
lasting and stable
friendship. Don't throw all
that away just to spend all your time hanging out with
your new boyfriend or
girlfriend or a cool new
person you just met. If you have a reputation for
being a blabbermouth or a
gossip, then your friends
will quickly find out and
they'll be hesitant to reveal
anything personal to you in the future -- or even to
spend much time with you
at all. Don't let others say bad
things about your friend,
either. Until you've had a
chance to hear your
friend's side of the story,
treat comments that are not supportive as hearsay
and rumors. If someone
says something that shocks
you and doesn't seem like a
thing your friend would do
or say, then respond with something like, "I know
him/her, and that just
doesn't sound right. Let me
talk to him/her; find out
his/her perspective on this.
Until then, I would appreciate it if you didn't
spread that around." Be respectful. Good friends show respect for each other by
being openly and mutually
supportive. If your friend has
certain values and beliefs that
don't align with your own,
respect his or her choices and be open to hearing more
about them. If you want your
friend to trust you, then your
friend should feel comfortable
voicing opinions that you may
not agree with, or discussing a new perspective with you. If
your friend thinks that you'll
shoot down any interesting or
original idea that he or she
may have, then your
friendship won't be valued. Sometimes your friend will
say things that you find
boring, uncomfortable or
annoying, but if you have
respect for your friend,
you'll give your friend the space to speak, and to do
so without judgment. During times when you
don't see eye to eye with
your friend, disagree
respectfully and be willing
to see things differently. Advertisement Part Two of Three: Being Supportive Be selfless. Though you can't be selfless all the time,
being selfless is an important part of being a good friend.
Accommodate your friend's
wishes whenever you can,
provided this is done in a
balanced way. Reciprocate his
or her acts of kindness with caring deeds of your own, and
your friendship will be
strengthened. If you get a
reputation for being selfish
and only being around your
friends when you need some help, then people will know
you're not looking out for
them. Do a favor for your friend
just out of the goodness of
your heart, not because
you want something in
return. There's a difference
between being selfless at
the right time and letting
people walk all over you. If
you feel like you're always
helping your friends and get nothing back, then you
may have a problem. Don't abuse generosity or
wear out your welcome.
When your friend does
something nice for you,
reciprocate quickly. Pay
back money you borrow promptly. Go home when it
seems like the time is right. Be a good listener. Don't monopolize conversations and
take the time to truly
understand and support your
friend when he is talking to
you. It sounds simple, but
make sure you're listening as much as you're talking about
yourself. If you're
monopolizing every
conversation with your
feelings, your friend isn't
getting anything out of the relationship. Listening opens
space between the two of you
and reassures your friend that
you care. If you're just waiting for
your friend to finish talking
so you can say what you
want to say, it'll be obvious
right away. Try to strike a balance of
letting your friend talk
about half of the time.
Though some people are
more shy than others, if
your friend feels like he can't get a word in when
he's around you, it'll be
hard to have a thriving
friendship. Help your friends deal with their struggles. To be truly supportive, you'll have to
be able to watch out for your
friends when they're having a
tough time. If you sense that
your friend is getting into
some sort of trouble over which they have little control,
such as taking drugs, being
promiscuous, or getting too
drunk at a party, help him or
her get away from the
situation by not being afraid to speak up about it. Don't assume that your
friend can handle it alone;
this may be the very time
that your voice of common
sense is needed to wake
them from their fugue. If you see a problem, speak
up, no matter how
awkward you may feel. Let your friend know that
you can give him a
shoulder to cry on during
this tough time. If your
friend feels less alone, it'll
be easier for them to deal with their troubles. If all your friend wants to
do about the problem is to
talk, that's fine at first, but
you should help your
friend find practical
solutions to his problems. For example, if your friend
admitted to having an
eating disorder and simply
promises to start eating
more, you need to talk
about taking more serious measures to address the
problem, like talking to a
health professional. Be there in a time of crisis. If your friend has to go to the hospital, visit. If his dog
runs away, help to find it. If
she needs someone to pick
him/her up, be there. Take
notes for your friend in school
when he or she is absent. Send cards and care packages when
you're living far apart. If there
is a death in his/her family,
attend the funeral. Let your
friend see that he can count on
you any time. Just make sure that your
friend isn't always in the
middle of some kind of
crisis, however contrived it
may be. You should be
there to help out during the hard times, but that
can't be the basis of your
whole relationship. Part of being there for your
friend in a crisis is
providing emotional
support, too. Care about
your friend enough to help
him or her open up and let the tears roll. Hand him or
her a tissue and listen
openly. You don't have to
say anything if nothing
seems right; just stay calm
and reassuring. If your friend is going
through a crisis, don't say,
"Everything is going to be
all right" if it's not going to
be. It's hard not to say that
sometimes, but false reassurance can often be
worse than none. Instead,
let your friend know you
are there for him or her.
Stay honest, but upbeat
and positive. If your friend begins
talking about committing suicide, tell someone about it. This rule overrides the
"respect privacy" step,
because even if your friend
begs you not to tell
anyone, you should do it
anyway. Suggest a help line or professional to your
friend. Talk to your and
your friend's parents or
spouse (unless they are the
ones causing the problems)
before involving anyone else. Give thoughtful advice. To be a good friend, you
should be able to weigh your
friend's situation from his or
her perspective and to provide
your opinion without insisting
that your friend should do whatever you say. Don't judge
your friend; simply advise him
or her when he or she reaches
out. Avoid giving unsought for
advice. Allow venting
where needed and be
willing to offer advice if it's
clear that it's sought.
Always ask before assuming you can give
advice. In some cases, a friend
could use a little tough love
to keep him or her out of a
dangerous situation. Use
discretion here; you don't
want to lecture or overwhelm your friend.
Tell him or her how you
perceive the situation using
factual information, and
suggest what you might do
in the same circumstances. Give your friend some space when he/she needs it. Part of being supportive
means supporting the fact that
your friend won't always want
to spend time with you. Learn
to step back and give your
friend space. Understand if your friend wants to be alone
or to hang out with other
people. There's no need to
become clingy or needy. If
you're clingy and check in with
your friend every two seconds if he or she isn't around, you'll
start to look like a possessive
significant other, and that will
not be appreciated. Don't get jealous if your
friend has lots of other
friends. Every relationship
is special and different, and
that doesn't mean that
your friend doesn't appreciate you. Allowing one another the
time to hang with other
friends gives you much-
needed breathing room,
and allows you to come
together fresh and appreciating each other
even more. Advertisement Part Three of Three: Making Your Friendship Last Learn to forgive. If you want your friendship to last,
then you should be able to
forgive your friend and to
move forward. If you hold a
grudge and let your bitterness
and resentment build up, then you won't be able to move
forward. Recognize that
nobody's perfect and that if
your friend is sincerely sorry
and if he or she didn't do
something too horrible, that you should move past it. If your friend really did do
something so unforgivable
that you just can't get past
it, then it's better to move
on than to try to save the
friendship when it's doomed. But this should
happen very rarely. If you're angry at your
friend but haven't told him
or her why, you'll never be
able to forgive him if you
don't talk about it. Accept your friend for who he or she is. To make your friendship thrive, you
shouldn't try to change your
friend or make your friend see
the world from your
perspective. If you're
conservative and your friend is liberal, then accept that
instead of trying to argue
about it all the time. You
should appreciate the fresh
perspective your friend can
bring to your experiences instead of wanting your friend
to see everything from your
perspective. The more you are with one
another, the less you
idealize each other and the
more you accept one
another for who you really
are. This is what being a truly good friend is really
about -- caring deeply for
each other, even if you
know you're both full of
flaws. Go beyond the call of duty. A friend will wait while you do your homework. A
great friend stays up all night
helping. Remember that if you
are a good friend, people want
to be a good friend to you.
Recognize the moments when you need to go above and
beyond to help your friend
and know that this will make
your friendship grow, and that
your friend will do the same
for you in return. If your friend really needs
you and keeps saying, "No,
you don't have to do
that..." learn to read
between the lines and
know that your friend really does need you. Stay in touch no matter what. As the years pass, people tend to grow apart.
Maybe you and a friend will
move to different places and
only see each other every once
in a while. Sometimes years
may elapse without much contact. If you never stop
caring about your friend,
speak up. He or she will be
happy to hear from you. You
were friends for a reason in
the past, and you may find the same bond still ties you
together. Don't let your location
determine the strength of
your bond. If your
friendship is meaningful,
then it should keep
growing even if you're an ocean apart. Make a goal of having
monthly phone or Skype
dates with your friend even
if you're in a completely
different time zone. If
keeping up with your friend becomes a routine,
your relationship will
continue to thrive. Let your friendship evolve. If you want to be a good friend, then you have to
understand that your
friendship won't be the same
in high school, college, or in
the adult world. Sure, when
you were fourteen, you might have spent all of your time
with your best friend, but by
the time you went off to
separate colleges or started
your serious relationships, you
naturally spent less time talking. This doesn't mean that
your friendship isn't as strong;
it just means that your lives
are evolving, and your
friendship is taking on a
different shape over the years. Don't try to make your
friendship be exactly the
same as it was ten years
ago. Think of it as elastic,
not solid. If your friend is married
with two kids or even just
in a serious relationship
and you're not, be
respectful of the fact that,
while your friend really cares for you, he/she won't
be on call 24/7 like he/she
used to be. Appreciate the changes
your friendship has made
over the years, and learn
to grow along with your
relationship.
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